Age Concern Dorchester - Dorset's Living Memories

The perils of being a milkwoman

Eileen Raymond writes ...

I used to go out on the milk round every day in the van.  One day I called on a customer who had a nice dog called Carlow.  He would always come out and greet me but on this particular day he didn’t come.  I was greeted by the woman pointing a sword at me. 

 I could see it was really sharp and had been well looked after.  She said “I’m Nelson today and you’re going to be my prisoner.  The sword was really close to my face so I just went in.  It was a really old converted mill house and it had a huge door that creaked.  She locked us in and put the key in her bag.

 She said, “You haven’t seen my bedroom, have you?”

 I said “No” and wondered what on earth was going to happen to me.

We went up the stairs and I could feel the point of the sword in my back.  Then we walked into three of her bedrooms and when we got to her bedroom I thought, “This is it.”I turned round and the sword was in my stomach.  The woman said, “Are you frightened of me?”

 Then I felt my guardian angel near and said, “No, I’m not.  You’re my friend.”  So she put the sword down and it cut the end of the rug right off.  I said my guardian angel was looking after me because out of the cloudy sky came the sun and it shone on a beautiful tapestry of The Blue Boy.  I thought “How lovely,” and she said, “That’s my favourite possession.  I keep the sword so that if anyone came up here I could run them through with it.”

 I said we should put it away and go and have some coffee and then she said we should have something better than that.  So the dog and I went down stairs to make a start on the coffee and on the table was a dagger with a long blade.  I got my brain together and thought.  I said, “Could we go into your lounge?” and she said, “That’s all right because that’s where the drink is.”

 We went up there and she brought sherry out and we drank the whole bottle up.  I had to drink it because there was nowhere to tip it.  Then she said she’d got another bottle and I said I’d have to go because they’d be looking for me and send the police.  She looked frightened and said, “I’d better let you go then.”

 I carried on and finished my round.  My husband said, “Why didn’t you jump in the van and get away?”

 The next day when I delivered the milk she wouldn’t open the door so I left it next door.